Pray Always

I have often wondered at the Lord's command to "Pray Always." I don't think He literally wants us to spend every second of every day in prayer. That would be impossible, really. So what does He mean?

I taught a lesson on prayer in church a few weeks ago and in the midst of preparing, I talked to a few old friends who wanted to know about my kids. In describing Steven I caught myself saying, "He is always eating."

Well, he's not actually eating every second of every day. But it is still correct grammatically to say he is always eating. It is something that characterizes him. It is something he enjoys, that he does every chance he gets. He is excited and anxious to eat. He never passes up an opportunity to eat. And he will eat anything at any time.

He eats all-ways. Any time. Any place. Any food. With anyone.

Here's a little sample of his excitement. Every single bite looks like this:



There are many insightful ways to interpret this commandment, but I think this is a powerful idea of what the Lord may have meant when He asked us to "Pray Always." How would my life be different if I were always praying?

I hope prayer will be something that comes to characterize me. And I hope I can have the same kind of excitement to commune with my Father in Heaven that Steven has to eat, for truly kneeling at His feet is a spiritual feast.

Flirting with Sin

Jane is a master negotiator and justifier, with phrases like, "Can I please have just one?" "Do you want one and I can have one too?" "I'm not eating it, Mom. I'm just holding it." "I'm not touching them; I'm just looking at them." "I'm not climbing on the counter, just one knee is one it." "I'll just be really careful."

A few weeks ago she really outdid herself. I told her she'd had enough raisins and she needed to put them away. This is the conversation that ensued:

Jane: "Can I have just one more?"
Me: "No, Jane. You've had enough."
Jane: "Can I just have one bite?"
Me: "No, Jane. You've had enough."
Jane: "Can I just chew on it?"

As funny as this is, it's a dangerous mortal mentality. As humans, we're really good at getting as close to the edge as possible (or even completely over the edge except for one little toe) and convincing ourselves that we're still in safe territory. We're not actually eating the raisins, we're just chewing on them!

I love this quote from George Albert Smith, a latter-day Apostle of Jesus Christ:

"There is a division line well defined that separates the Lord’s territory from Lucifer’s. If we live on the Lord’s side of the line Lucifer cannot come there to influence us, but if we cross the line into his territory we are in his power. By keeping the commandments of the Lord we are safe on His side of the line, but if we disobey His teachings we voluntarily cross into the zone of temptation and invite the destruction that is ever present there. Knowing this, how anxious we should always be to live on the Lord’s side of the line." 

How anxious we should always be to live on the Lord's side of the line! Complete obedience is a powerful thing. 

On that note, here is a wonderful video from Jeffrey R. Holland who can say things much better than I can. 

Just Because You Don't Understand Doesn't Mean I Don't Understand

In Isaiah, the Lord tells us, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts...for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are...my thoughts than your thoughts."

This concept is easy to understand when we are the ones thinking at a higher level, but it is almost impossible for us to fathom when we are the ones whose thoughts are lower.

Perhaps these two examples can help us get a better idea of God's level of thinking, and thus trust Him more fully, as we consider ourselves as His children and as His students.

As a Child

Jane put on her tutu and spun for at least 20 minutes yesterday. She kept saying, "Mom, I'm pretending to be a ballerina. I'm spinning around, spinning around, spinning around..." Then she fell and said, "Whoa. Now that house is spinning around!" 

I tried to explain to her why it looks like the house is spinning, but she insisted, "No, Mom. The house is spinning!" Obviously the house was not actually spinning, but in her perspective, it was. 

She is also living in the "Why?" phase of life, or more often, "But why?" 

I can explain in simple terms why she can't eat chocolate for dinner, why she can't hit Steven, and why she can't use a sharp knife. It is harder for me to articulate why everyone used to be a baby or why I let the nurse hurt her when she gets a shot. 

I stumble as I try explain these things on a toddler level. The answer is obvious to me, but it is just beyond her comprehension and the thought that always comes to mind is, "Just because you don't understand doesn't mean I don't understand!" 

As a Student

I used to teach high school math. Whenever I explained a difficult concept, a student would exclaim, "Mrs. Teixeira, this doesn't make sense!" 

I would remind them, "Actually, it does make sense. It just doesn't make sense to you. Yet." 

Those two clarifications are important. All truth cannot be judged on our capacity to understand it. But eventually, in this life or in the eternities, we will understand. 

Perhaps we can keep this in mind when there are trials in our lives that seem unfair, gospel principles we don't understand, situations that seem impossible to remedy and unanswered questions trying our faith. 

Often we ask God, "Why is this happening to me?" or tell Him, "This is too hard. I can't do this." or lose our faith and don't talk to Him at all. Perhaps instead we can remember that His thoughts are higher than ours and we can say, "This doesn't make sense to me. Yet. But just because I don't understand doesn't mean you don't understand and I'm just going to have to trust you on this one."

And then do it. Truly trust Him. He really does understand. 

My Burden is Light

Matthew 11:28-30 has always been a favorite scripture, but I've always wondered about the last word: my [Christ's] burden is light. I believe Christ can make our burdens light, but His burden seems awfully heavy. 

As Jane and I were vacuuming together a few weeks ago, we finished the rooms downstairs and needed to bring the vacuum upstairs. Jane volunteered to carry the vacuum, but as soon as she tried to pick it up she declared, "It's too heavy." Then she looked at me and said, "Let's do it together!" As I carried the majority of the weight and Jane held the side of the vacuum she said, "There we go. Now it's not heavy." Instantly I heard in my mind, "My burden is light." 

Of course the weight of the vacuum didn't change, but Jane was right--it wasn't heavy anymore. It wasn't heavy for me and so when we did it together it wasn't heavy for either of us. 

There is not a standard of heaviness or a predetermined weight that is "heavy", it is simply a matter of comparison: the weight compared to our capacity, strength or love. If the weight is greater than our capacity, it is heavy. If our capacity is greater than the weight, it is light. 

Jesus has infinite capacity, infinite strength and infinite love. Because of this, my heavy burdens are not heavy to Him. And when we carry them together, I too can say, "There we go. Now it's not heavy."  

God's Side of the Story

Jane loves calling people on the phone. Last week this ritual opened a painful glimpse into my own childish soul. 

Several times a day she will take my phone and say, "I want to call anyone." Occasionally we will narrow that down to a specific person, I will find their number, and she will call and turn on speaker phone. And last week she chose Aunt Shanna. 

At one point in the conversation I said, "Jane, do you want to tell Aunt Shanna what you did today?" and Jane said, "I didn't go on a bike ride and I didn't eat graham crackers. Mom said no." Ouch. I was thinking something more along the lines of how you went to preschool and we read books and colored...

Jane loves to ride her tricycle and she was really sad that we didn't take it out that day, but that was only because there were trucks and trailers blocking our whole street from the company who mows the lawns. And we forgot to buy graham crackers at the store, so we didn't have any. But that part of the story was left out, along with everything we DID do that day. Including opening her drawers and finding clean clothes (somewhat) folded inside, and opening the pantry and finding it full of food. 

It is so easy to be blinded by what we don't have or what we can't do. In one sentence Jane taught a sermon on human nature, on my nature. 

I imagine God overhearing my conversations. Am I leaving out His side of the story? 

When I tell others what I did that day, week, year, or lifetime am I focused on the things I didn't do or the things I did? When I pray do I let God know all the things I don't have or thank him for all the things I do? 

It's so easy to see life from such a childish view. How often do we hear, think and say things like "I can't get pregnant. God said no." "I didn't get the job I deserved. God said no." "I never married. God said no." "My grandpa wasn't healed. God said no."

What about God's side of the story? 

What about the reason He said no. (He has one. Even if we don't understand. Even if we never know what it is in this life. And it is, absolutely, for our best good.) What about all the times He says yes? What about all the things we CAN do, all the things we DO have? 

I was having a particularly difficult day a few weeks ago. God overheard conversations that sounded like this: My kids are out of control and pushing me beyond my limits. Miguel's schedule is grueling and taking a toll on us all. I can't keep up with the dishes and laundry and just picking up the house. At one point the conversation was directed and Him and I think I even told Him, "I can't do this anymore!" 

And do you know what He said? I was ready for Him to agree that my life is so hard and everyone should feel bad for me because of all the things I don't have and all the things I can't do. And maybe He would even take away all the hard things! But instead He reminded me, "You have kids. You have a husband, and his schedule is demanding because he is in a prestigious training program that will open doors for the rest of your lives. And you have a house with a whole room just for toys, and heating and air conditioning and indoor plumbing and a car in the garage." He reminded me of His side of the story. And what a glorious story it is! 

I hope I will always remember, in my thoughts and my conversations, that God is listening and His story is grander and more complete than the tiny piece of it I see. I pray for my vision to be expanded so I can see things from His view and remember the good things. And I hope, as Paul exhorts, that I will be an example of the believers in word and in conversation (1 Timothy 4:12). 

God's Trust

Trust is a powerful thing. When someone trusts us, it gives us wings and we quickly rise to the level of their trust. I am learning to trust Jane.

I trust her to go to the bathroom. And usually she can flush, wash her hands, and get re-dressed "all by my's-self". But sometimes I come in later to find the toilet paper un-rolled on the floor or the entire bottle of soap squirted all over the sink.

I trust her to stay with Steven for a minute while I pull something out of the oven or grab something from upstairs. And usually she is very sweet and sings to him or holds his hand. 

But sometimes I come back and she's smothering him, or pulling his legs or poking his eyes. 

Usually she can "read" books by herself. But sometimes this results in torn pages, especially in library books for some reason. 


I recognize that Jane is a two year-old, in some ways so grown up and in some ways barely more than a baby. Obviously I cannot trust her in everything yet, but in the things I can I try to give her the gift of trust, even when she's not always perfect. It is harder, more painful and less convenient for me to trust her, but that is how she will grow, the only way she can grow.

Elder Richard G. Scott said, "The children of Father in Heaven can do amazing things when they feel trusted. Every child of God in mortality chose the Savior's plan. Trust that given the opportunity, they will do so again." Trust in small things is a way to grow up so we can be trusted, truly trusted, in the most important thing-- choosing Christ, no matter what.


Have I grown up enough that God can truly trust me? 


I hope so, but at the same time when I feel he is trusting me too much, sometimes I think I need to remind Him, "Can't you see that I need you? Can't you see that I'm just a child with a tendency to make a mess of things? Why are you leaving me alone?" He seems to trust me more than I trust myself.

I think Jesus felt that way too. From the beginning, He knew the plan. He knew He would suffer and He was willing to fill the role of Savior. But knowing and experiencing are different. When He began to experience the suffering, He shrank and pleaded for another way. He likely doubted His ability to fulfill His role. When God withdrew His spirit, He questioned, “Why has thou forsaken me?” I think he had some of the same thoughts that we have, "I can't do this. Why are you leaving me alone?"

Though Christ may have doubted Himself, God never doubted Him. Heavenly Father had so much trust in His Son that He has been forgiving sins and promising salvation for thousands of years, based on the trust that Christ would do exactly what He said He would do.

In those most agonizing moments, Heavenly Father trusted His Son so much that He withdrew Himself instead of coming to His aid. He trusted Him to endure faithfully even when He was completely alone.

Of course we are never truly alone, just as Jane is never truly alone. I am always in the next room, aware (mostly) of what she is doing. But in the hardest moments of our lives when we feel so alone, perhaps it is a great sign of God’s trust that He does not run to our rescue. He trusts that we can be faithful even in the hardest times. We've grown up enough that He can truly trust us. And His trust allows us to grow even more, to grow to be like Him.

In a great act of trust, God sent us to this earth trusting that we would return to Him. Ultimately, our salvation depends upon us living up to that trust (and Christ living up to His, which he already has). Like Jesus we can, we must, prove faithful.

Helping in God's Work

One thing I love about Jane is that she loves helping. But she's not always... helpful.

Including Jane in my work means it will take twice as long and result in hand prints left on the mirrors, crumbs dumped out of the dustpan, and silverware dropped on the floor. I generally have to work behind her and re-wash, sweep, and clean everything she does. Usually I don't mind because I really enjoy her, but sometimes my patience wears awfully thin and I think, "This would be a whole lot easier if you weren't in my way!"

She is truly trying to help and the frustration she may cause is completely innocent, so I try to push through those moments of impatience and remember the bigger picture. Besides needing to keep the house clean enough to maintain my sanity, there are three main reasons that I involve Jane in my work: 

1. I am teaching her how to do my work because, as she likes to say, "When I'm a Mommy, I do that." One day she too will be a homemaker and a mother and I want her to have the skills to be successful and feel fulfilled in that role. 

2. I want her to experience the joy of work. 

3. I genuinely enjoy her company. Even though sweeping, emptying the dishwasher, cooking, and everything else are more challenging with a two-year-old at your side, they are also more enjoyable.

Why does the Lord let us work side-by-side with Him as He involves us in His work? Why does He allow us to be His hands, to be His extremely imperfect representatives? As we go along thinking we're doing a great job, I'm sure He is coming behind us cleaning up the mess we've made and giving us credit for the end result. His work is certainly not easier with us involved. If He weren't perfect, there may even be moments when He would think, "This would be a whole lot easier if you would stop getting in my way!" So why does He go to the trouble? 

I believe God has the same reasons to prompt us to help our neighbor, or visit a sick friend, or make a new friend, or share His gospel with someone, or accept a responsibility at church or in the community, or write a book, or the millions of other small and large things He asks us to do as He involves us in His work.  

1. He wants us to become like Him. These skills, attributes and characteristics will only come through experience as we work with Him. 

2. He wants to share with us the great joy that comes from doing His work. 

3. He genuinely enjoys working with us. 

I am so grateful that the Lord allows me to take a small part in His great work, to be tutored at His side, and to experience the eternal joy of labor in His kingdom.