Trust is a powerful thing. When someone trusts us, it gives us wings and we quickly rise to the level of their trust. I am learning to trust Jane.
I trust her to go to the bathroom. And usually she can flush, wash her hands, and get re-dressed "all by my's-self". But sometimes I come in later to find the toilet paper un-rolled on the floor or the entire bottle of soap squirted all over the sink.
I trust her to stay with Steven for a minute while I pull something out of the oven or grab something from upstairs. And usually she is very sweet and sings to him or holds his hand.
But sometimes I come back and she's smothering him, or pulling his legs or poking his eyes.
Usually she can "read" books by herself. But sometimes this results in torn pages, especially in library books for some reason.
I recognize that Jane is a two year-old, in some ways so grown up and in some ways barely more than a baby. Obviously I cannot trust her in everything yet, but in the things I can I try to give her the gift of trust, even when she's not always perfect. It is harder, more painful and less convenient for me to trust her, but that is how she will grow, the only way she can grow.
Elder Richard G. Scott said, "The children of Father in Heaven can do amazing things when they feel trusted. Every child of God in mortality chose the Savior's plan. Trust that given the opportunity, they will do so again." Trust in small things is a way to grow up so we can be trusted, truly trusted, in the most important thing-- choosing Christ, no matter what.
Have I grown up enough that God can truly trust me?
I hope so, but at the same time when I feel he is trusting me too much, sometimes I think I need to remind Him, "Can't you see that I need you? Can't you see that I'm just a child with a tendency to make a mess of things? Why are you leaving me alone?" He seems to trust me more than I trust myself.
I think Jesus felt that way too. From the beginning, He knew the plan. He knew He would suffer and He was willing to fill the role of Savior. But knowing and experiencing are different. When He began to experience the suffering, He shrank and pleaded for another way. He likely doubted His ability to fulfill His role. When God withdrew His spirit, He questioned, “Why has thou forsaken me?” I think he had some of the same thoughts that we have, "I can't do this. Why are you leaving me alone?"
Though Christ may have doubted Himself, God never doubted Him. Heavenly Father had so much trust in His Son that He has been forgiving sins and promising salvation for thousands of years, based on the trust that Christ would do exactly what He said He would do.
In those most agonizing moments, Heavenly Father trusted His Son so much that He withdrew Himself instead of coming to His aid. He trusted Him to endure faithfully even when He was completely alone.
Of course we are never truly alone, just as Jane is never truly alone. I am always in the next room, aware (mostly) of what she is doing. But in the hardest moments of our lives when we feel so alone, perhaps it is a great sign of God’s trust that He does not run to our rescue. He trusts that we can be faithful even in the hardest times. We've grown up enough that He can truly trust us. And His trust allows us to grow even more, to grow to be like Him.
Wow. Just wow, Lisa. Beautiful and profound.
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